Home > Uncategorized > If this is the technology used by Homeland Security… we’re all screwed.

If this is the technology used by Homeland Security… we’re all screwed.

[This entry was originally posted on my MySpace blog. It was transferred to WordPress on 1/20/2013.]

So I went to this fun website to see what celebrities I looked like; MyHeritage Face Recognition.  You upload a photo, their technology scans it and compares it to their database of 3200 celebrity photos (some more celebrated than others…Kevin Mitnick?  Really?)  Sometimes you can see what their system was thinking, sometimes not.  And depending on the picture you submit, you can get very different results.  So obviously, the technology is not perfect. 

Below is a picture of me that is not the greatest and it was taken a few years ago.  I decided I would see what would happen if I plugged it in to the ol’ computer.  The results frightened, amazed, and even bemused me.  Here goes;


Based on the photo I submitted, Bill Gates and Daniel Radcliffe are understandable, I suppose.  The facial expression, the GLASSES.  Jeff Goldbloom, maybe.  But the others.  Really?  Meryl Streep?  Michael Moore?  LAWRENCE FISHBURNE?!?  I’m blown away. 

The best is yet to come.  That’s right, ladies and gentlemen.  I tried a different picture.  And the results were even more shocking than before.  On the left is a pretty decent picture of me. It is fairly representative of how I actually look. I’ll let the results speak for themselves, because I am speechless.


Obviously, my strikingly feminine features were not lost on this amazing, space-aged computer technology. A couple years ago, the government was announcing new computerized face recognition technology for airports to increase security and catch bandits before they board the planes.

God help me if Sharon Stone tries any funny business in the airport. But I suppose when they come looking for me, I could just claim that I am Lucille Ball. They’ll buy that, right?

Oy vey.

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